Last updated on at 05:40 am
This year has made me look for answers to the question “How to get through hard times in life”.
I think we can all agree that it’s been a crazy 2020. One moment we were saying goodbye to 2019 with hearts full of hope for the coming year, the next we’re waking up to 2020 that’s eerily and tragically similar to a dystopian world that we only read about in books or see in movies. And with the end of this year in sight, it’s quite obvious that it’s not about to get any better before 2021 sets in.
This pandemic has created a lot of difficulties. It has resulted in the loss of jobs, closed businesses, separated us from loved ones and friends, disrupted our everyday lives, and practically changed the landscape of our society and our lives. And when you add natural calamities, political and social disturbances, and other economic problems to the mix, then life has turned into something resembling your worst nightmare.
It’s no wonder many are suffering mentally and emotionally. I, for one, have days when I feel overwhelmed by what’s happening around me and I find it difficult to get up in the morning without some pep talk. On other days, I get discouraged and find no motivation to continue the tasks I need to do. But much as I want to give in to my sad feelings and wallow, I can’t afford to, though, so I try my best to motivate myself to keep going.
If you are someone like me who’s been finding it difficult to get through these difficult times, here are some things I learned on how to get through hard times in life. Maybe these will help you cope and soldier on, too.
How to Get Through Hard Times in Life
Take Stock
Take stock of what’s happening. This means not only being aware of what’s going on around you and processing them but also being aware of your reaction to these events. Then go further and acknowledge your feelings and emotions and then come to terms with them. These events may not be what you want, but recognizing that they are there and knowing how you feel about them are the first steps to getting through hard times in life.
Part of acknowledging how you feel about these events is giving in to forms of expressions that come naturally. Forms of expressions that help you cope. You can cry out your frustration or shout it out in the confines of your room. Or write your thoughts and feelings down, maybe in a journal—anything that would help you process your feelings, deal with them, let go, and move on, really. It’s also important to remember that you don’t have to explain or criticize what you feel. Accept it as you being you.
Focus on Those Within Your Control
When you’re going through hard times in life, not everything is out of your control. There are still some things that you can manage and take care of. Focus on them.
For example, you may not have control over the fact that your company downsized and you lost your job as a result, but you have control over your reaction to that unfortunate event. Yes, you will feel bad at first, even down in the dumps for some time, but you can eventually take control by focusing instead on moving on. You can do this, for example, by brushing up on some of the skills that would help you land a new job. Or maybe you can go straight to finding one.
When you focus on what you can control, you are being proactive and starting the process of turning things around to make your situation better. In the process, you will feel empowered, confident, and back on your feet.
See the Positives
However dire you may feel the situation to be, there are always positive things to focus on. Stop dwelling on the negative and concentrate on the positive aspects of your life.
Back to that job loss example, yes, you may have lost your earning source, but you may still have your health or your family and friends who are there to support you. With those positives, you can move forward and start afresh again.
Count Your Blessings
Consistent with focusing on the positive is learning to count your blessings. When you start counting your blessings, you may be surprised to find that you actually have a lot and there’s so much good that you have that you can be thankful for. You may even realize that the hardship you’re going through is only just a small fraction of the totality of what is largely your awesome life. That by dwelling on the negative, you are only disillusioning yourself into thinking your life is bad when that’s further from the truth. So learn to count your blessings and be thankful.
Choose Happy
Every day, you always have a choice of how to be. You can choose to be sad or be happy instead. Choosing either makes a difference. Choosing to be sad wouldn’t really improve an already dire situation, but choosing happy goes a long way. So choose happy. Always.
Filter Your Thoughts
One technique I use that helps me get through hard times in life is to filter my thoughts. After I come to terms with a difficult situation that I have no control over, I try not to dwell on it incessantly because doing so is just futile. It would only make me worry and stressed. So I erase it from my mind and think happier thoughts instead. And when those problems try to force their way back into my thoughts again, I immediately quash them by thinking of those other pleasant things.
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Look Back
I bet this isn’t the first time you’ve encountered a difficult situation. Surely in the past, you went through some problems (because that’s just how life works: there are ups as well as downs). Perhaps something big or just a small one, but something that you thought was insurmountable. But then you conquered it and life was good again.
Remember those times and seek comfort in the thought that this problem you’re facing now will come to pass, too. Look to your past for encouragement and strength, and tell yourself that you’ve conquered hurdles before, so there’s no reason why you can’t now.
Find the Lessons
Try to look beyond the difficulties you’re going through and see if you can find something good from them. Some life lessons you can learn from and grow or improve on. Some hardships are great character-building opportunities that mold you into a stronger and better person.
Putting yourself in the shoes of an outsider and observing the situation at a distance also helps. Sometimes we are so wrapped up in our world that we begin to perceive our situations as more dramatic than they are. Viewing things like an outsider may give you a different perspective that puts the situation you are in a different light, now hopefully a lighter one.
Assess With Accuracy
Analyze your situation accurately. Is it truly a calamity or just a minor drawback? Doing so would help you put things in their proper perspective, so you can treat them properly and act on them accordingly.
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Practice Self-Care
Self-care is essential, especially in difficult times. When you practice self-care, you are gearing yourself up to be ready for battle and face hardship. If you’re not in tip-top shape, you won’t be up to the task of surviving. So get the right amount of sleep, exercise regularly, eat healthily, and engage in relaxation or mindfulness techniques like meditation, yoga, and deep breathing. If the toil gets heavy during the day, be sure to pause, maybe take a nap, to recharge.
Reach Out
Reaching out to others in times of difficulty is just as important. Human support helps you ward off loneliness and generally just gets you through tough times. So ask for help, welcome any offered, and don’t shut out others. Avoid toxic and negative people, though, who can only exacerbate the situation.
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Find the Purpose
Finding a purpose or a meaning helps, too. Get a new hobby or some activity that interests you. Join a charity and help others. Or a book club and connect with others. A purpose will help you stay motivated and help you get out of bed every day.
Take It In Stride
Deal with the hardship in a calm way. Take one step at a time every day and try not to overwhelm yourself. Celebrate victories, no matter how small, because you need all the encouragement you can get. And always have an optimistic attitude because, again, just like all the other hardships you’ve been through before, this too shall pass.
Remember to be kind to yourself. Don’t beat yourself up with “what should haves” and “if only”. Accept, deal, and move on.
Also keeping in mind that you are not your hard time is important. Learn to separate your person from the situation. Don’t let define your life.
Don’t get discouraged if you’re still suffering and haven’t started moving on yet. Every one of us responds to crises differently and doesn’t recover in the same ways and within the same time frames. Keep going and you’ll get there in your own time.
Just Stop
Sometimes, all it takes to put an end to a hard time is to put your foot down. Tell yourself you’re done with it and ready to move on. Then follow that through with concrete actions that are manifestations of that resolve.
What to do when life is hard?
When life is hard, take a step back, breathe deeply, and remind yourself that challenges are temporary. Focus on what you can control, practice self-care, seek support from loved ones, and remember that tough times can lead to growth and resilience.
Final Thoughts
We hope these answer the question of how to get through hard times in life and help you come out on the other side so much better after the experience.
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